Lubricant review: Gichi Gichi Tight Virgin Lotion


Toy provided for review by JLIST.

Gichi Gichi Tight Virgin Lotion, arrived on my doorstep mid 2016, sent by JLIST. It was one of the first free products they provided for me for review. It’s made by the venerable Japanese toy crafter, ToysHeart. It is water-based, and has a seller picture on the bottle, but sadly, this lotion has been the most disappointing lubricant I ever could’ve feared.

Most lubes have the same problem, which is that they dry too quickly. This trait is especially prominent in the Gichi Gichi Lotion, because it dries in ~30 seconds, necessitating that you apply more of it, or apply water to revive it. This interrupts your masturbation. If you’re trying to keep your prick properly lubricated with this, the bottle will empty much faster than it should. In my opinion, this lube is the ultimate waste of your fucking money.

Welcome to another blockbuster installment in our show, “Otaku Apologist’s hateful Japanese lube reviews”. Or something.


The perfect lube for self-hating homosexual virgins…

The bottle is transparent, and easily shows how much lube there’s left. It’s not a big bottle, and not particularly cheap. The cork is quite tight, and easy to remove, even for a little girl. The picture on the bottle is cute as shit: the Gichi Gichi Virgin girl that’s prominently featured in the titular onahole, graces the etiquette of the lotion bottle. She ain’t smiling, waiting reluctantly on daddy’s cock to penetrate her ripe virgin hymen. Get fucked, you little bitch.


She is my favorite onahole…

Before we start shiting more on this lube, we need to establish one strange fact: some materials of onaholes mesh really well with this. The Gichi Gichi Hole for example, stays lubed for easily 10 minutes with just one dose. Other onaholes I tried it on, the lube went dry after about 2 minutes, leaving my penis frustrated, and rendering the lube completely worthless. How this is even possible, I guess, is just one of nature’s many mysteries.

Basically, there’s nothing special I’ve found about this product. It’s a very standard feeling lube, that doesn’t, in my experience, do its job properly. Buying it is a gamble, unless you get it in a set with the Gichi Gichi Tight Virgin Onahole.

Due to my continued frustrations with this product, I did not bother to test it on my dildos. I have high doubts it would create a pleasurable anal masturbation experience, but who knows, when its performance seems to fluctuate radically based on the texture it’s applied to. Perhaps your skin is so different from mine, that this shit will never grow dry in your snowflake asshole. Or maybe your ethnicity just sucks.


In summary: fuck this lube. It’s bad for handjobs, bad on most onaholes.

If you wanna see products more worthwhile for your virginal masturbation lifestyle, please visit my humble fucktoy store. Arigatous, and fuck you.

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