8.5

Sextoy review: Attack on Big Dildo

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Attack on Big Dildo, is a huge pink homosexual fucktoy, made by ToysHeart. Attached, is a special pump, that lets you enlarge the dildo up to 130% bigger. It’s also equipped with a suction cup, for easy solo sex.

Attack on Big Dildo was provided to me by otonaJP, adult lifestyle shop in Japan. They have competitive prices compared to larger shops, and great customer service. I recommend heartily, if you enjoy my reviews, that you shop at otonaJP, so they can continue to provide toys for my review. Arigatou!

attack on titan dildo package

Package

The name of the dildo references the popular anime Attack on Titan, but the package doesn’t display any visuals relating to the anime. I am not sure what the fuck’s going on here. The front of the box has a transparent plastic “window” that reveals the goodies inside, while the back displays the toy, and some Japanese text. I don’t read Japanese. The feel of the box is modern, majestic, like you’re in the presence of a king.

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Material

The material is high-quality rubber. It has a mild odor, but not the kind that lingers around in the room. Only if you sniff it from up close, it’s there. The toy feels firm, it oozes durablity when touched – maybe that sounds weird, but lemme tell you, when you hold him in your hand, he really feels like a toy that’s gonna last on you for years. It’s soft enough that you can bend it gently like a real dick. Inside an asshole, the dildo feels slightly too hard for comfort.

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Pleasure

My experience with this toy has been conflicting, in part, because I am not a frequent anal masturbator. As a professional reviewer of onaholes, my cumshots are generally reserved for pussy.

If you know anything about the science behind anal masturbation, it takes meticulous training of the anus, before you can enjoy a hard pounding in the ass. Taking a huge prick is one of the great pleasures of life, but few sad fags possess the dedication to get there. You rather masturbate at home, meming communism, reeling with chronic social anxiety from years of bullying, because the white supremacist society hates you. Boo fucking hoo, that’s why you fags are never getting your brains fucked out of your nostrils. Man up.

Homophobia out of the way, my anal masturbation sessions with the Attack on Big Dildo, have not been the most pleasurable. My ass is clearly not trained enough. When I shove this fucker in my pucker, I feel pain. With plenty of lube, he slides in, no resistance. But the in and out motion, can be awkward if you’re not stretchy. I’m stiff as shit these days from working too much, and fucking too little. It’s like being a virgin again.

The most fun I’ve gotten from this toy, has been using it during handjobs. It’s a nice gay prop, that you can rub on your dick, poke at your testicles, slap across your cheeks, play with your nipples, slide on your stomach, all that jazz. My cumshots are quite juicy after enough playing around. The moment my nut itches to get bust, I violently rub it against my stick, like lighting up a campfire. The dildo ends up drenched in fat lumps of nasty testicle juice. If you’re the kind of soulless faggot that fantasizes about big penises while cutting your wrists, this toy delivers.

I did not use the suction cup in my playtimes, but I tested that it works. Enlarging the toy with the pump worked okay, but I found it difficult to use, after the dildo was lubed. The way you play with it, you are bound to get lube all over your hands, your genitals, your body. Pressing the round pump gets difficult. If you plan to pump the bastard bigger, you need to do it during preparation.

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Cleaning

I’ve personally cleaned the dildo by simply souping it, and pouring water on it. About two layers of soap will clean all the shit stains, and lube, that may have stuck on it. I don’t advice you clean it with your tongue, lest you didn’t put it in your butt, lest you smeared it with edible lube. If you opt out of anal masturbation, and instead practice blowjobs, using your saliva as lube, you can clean the cum with your mouth after you’re done. Everything is possible for cocksuckers with ambition.

Punch the bias banner to otonaJP, you support the cultural war against traditional family values. See my store for alternative retailers.

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Our Rating

Package8
Materal9
Pleasure7
Cleaning10
8.5

About author

OtakuApologist

Admin of VGhustler. I did not choose the otakulife, the otakulife chose me. Follow my blog http://otakuapologist.xyz

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